WHY DO FRIENDS HAVE BAD FALLOUT

I have come again ooo! A question has been bugging my mind since forever and I have gotten to a point where I just feel like I should let it go like talk about it. 
Honestly, I feel like there are so many reasons that attributes to friends falling out in general and I believe there could be a good fall out but the widely known kind of fallout is the bad fallout with so much drama and gbas gbos (excuse my native dialect).

 Good fallout 

A good fallout could be because you guys are not in the same space any longer which is understandable. Things change and people change with situations and you feel like the point you are in at the moment, your friend may not understand where you coming from and you move from each other to making other friends.

Though sometimes a feeling of betrayal may be pre-eminent on the other end but what makes it a good fallout is when both parties understand that they have to move on. This isn’t just working! 

Bad fallout 

My main focus today is the bad falling out of friends like I kind of find this baffling when I witness two jolly friends come at each other like they weren’t padis 10minutes ago.

They start to spill each other secrets and gossips start falling out like a tap with a loose handle.

(You know when they get to this point, I am like no no no not the secrets. Those should remain within you guys regardless of the fight after all it is a secret for heaven’s sake).

I have realized that the biggest problem these people have is expectations.

You are just expecting too much from the other person. We neglect trying to understand each other as friends instead, we place these crazy expectations on them.

Just because you would do something for someone doesn’t mean you have the right to expect the same from that person. What if your friend isn’t that kind of person? What are you gonna do? Go at each other’s throats? 

Like in a scenario where you expect your friend to fight your battles for you and he/ she doesn’t do so, then you get mad. Like I don’t understand! Don’t you know it is only God that can fight your battles for you? So when do we start expecting humans to wear God’s shoes?

Don’t get me wrong! I am not saying it is bad to fight your friend’s battles, all I am saying is; it is okay if you don’t feel the need to do so.

A friend should fight with you not fight instead of you! 

Your friend is a support not a Jackie Chan.

So don’t be expecting a God from your friends. 

 

Like when you begin to hear what people expect of their friends you will be amazed. I am like, are sure you know your friend is a human like you that is fully flawed, not a machine that you just dump your expectations on, expecting all of it to be carried out with no itch whatsoever? 

Loyalty in friendship or any relationship can be very tricky if you don’t understand what it means to be loyal.

Also another reason I will like to pinpoint is the fact that some people don’t like to hear the truth.

I remember the saying and the song King Sunny Ade sang that illustrates “the truth is bitter but you have to say it regardless”. As friends there is another belief that if you haven’t fought ( I am sure the fight means disagreement not all that inappropriate drama), then you are not friends because you are not telling each other the truth.

It is believed that the best person in the position to tell you the truth is your friend also, it is believed that if you have a friend that tells you all you want to hear every time, then you have no friend my darling.

It is the biggest duty of your friend to call you to order whether you like it or not but you see we humans, we hate the truth.

The moment a friend tells you what you did is wrong you go all sentimental about it. You start to feel like they aren’t on your side. 

 

I am not saying you shouldn’t argue or disagree as friends infact please do, it is inevitable. Just make sure it isn’t the unnecessary drama we have all come to know. You can do it in the confine your walls and settle after all the gas is all out. 

We the innocent onlookers are tired of suffering all the dramas and sometimes we are forced to take some of the hit.

Though I will not lie that i find it very hilarious when I experience this drama.

So friends, please reduce the expectations you have of each other and learn to listen to the truth and correct your mistakes.

Please let’s be mature in this kind of dealings! 

Cos we will keep laughing at friends that fallout with all those dramas. 

(We go use una do yeye) just saying!